I have been in an extremely busy season in my life. In the
last few months I have changed jobs, gotten engaged, purchased a home, and
planned a wedding. It’s been crazy to say the least! God often uses seasons
like this to bring some things to the surface I didn’t know were there. Early
on in this season of transition, I found myself getting anxious, stressed, and
worried on a consistent basis. To be honest, it was exhausting. My mind was
constantly racing and I know that I wasn’t very fun to be around. What was most
frustrating to me was that I was fully aware of all of God’s promises for peace
and provision throughout the Bible. Heck, I had memorized some of them, yet
none of them seemed to be my reality—just nice ideas. That was until God spoke.
In Psalm 23 David says that God prepared a table for him in
the presence of his enemies (paraphrase). Interesting that God didn’t prepare a
table for him in a peaceful field, or in the presence of his family, or his
friends. I had read that verse hundreds of times and never really appreciated
its significance—God wants us to sit down and eat with Him in the middle of a
fight! Simply put, God invites us to fellowship with Him in the very moments it
would be so easy to feel frustrated, worried, and anxious—like in a battle. God
showed me that I had been using my circumstances as an excuse to feel a certain
way. I had bought into the lie that “once this thing is over then life will
slow down” or “once I complete this task, I won’t be worried or anxious”. We
must understand that it’s not our circumstances causing these emotions; rather
these emotions are simply indicators of a deeper heart issue, most often, a
lack of trust in our good Father.
I am still very much in the learning process of practicing
rest and fellowship in those hard moments. In the midst of this crazy season, I
have learned something very helpful. Rather that being intimidated by the
largeness of the task at hand, whatever it is, understand that you may not be
able to build the entire wall today. You can, however, lay one brick. Just make
sure that brick is laid with absolute excellence and before you know it, that
wall will be finished.
